When someone begins a family, they start to learn a lot about themselves and the world. Being a good family member requires absolute selflessness as you put the needs of your children and spouse ahead of your own. It is a painful transition for many, as evidenced by divorce rates, depression rates, and bolts in the night. But if you truly want the best for your family, you will learn to put your own needs to the side. There are many different ways that you can selflessly serve your family, and you should try to excel in all of them. When your kids grow up to be successful and healthy individuals, you will know that all of your effort was worth it.
First of all you need to recognize the idealistic differences between you and your spouse. Do you feel the need to have everything extremely clean all of the time while your spouse doesn’t mind living in a pigsty? That is fine. It may cause some of the trouble in your marriage, but you will eventually learn to deal with it. The best way to do it is to clean things up on your own, without grumbling or pointing out the faults of your spouse. If he or she mentions it, just say something along the lines of “oh, I just prefer it like this, don’t worry about it”. This kind of reaction from you will hopefully get your spouse to start keeping things tidy, the way you like them. If not, just continue to do it yourself without being bitter about it.
Next you need to give your spouse and your children the time that they deserve. It is easy for a working adult to get caught up in a cycle of working and relaxing, without setting aside time for persistent family time. Eat dinner with your family and force interactions, even if you are not feeling up to it. Sometimes it takes a lot of willpower to forget the stresses of work and to simply enjoy the presence of your kids. But once you get used to doing it, you will start to enjoy it more and more and your kids will certainly be better off since you are interactive and involved.
You should also try to create a good attitude in your children. Teach them your own ideals. If you selflessly clean up after your spouse, teach your children that this is the way to maintain a good relationship. Teach them that sacrifice is important. By spending this time and effort to cultivate the personalities of your children, you are improving their futures and most likely creating a smoother family life for the short term. There are no ways that a good personality can create family problems, so do your best to teach your children to be agreeable and pleasant.
It can be hard to focus on all of the different points of family life at the same time. But just take things one day at a time, and one step at a time. Starting today, spend a few hours with your family, chatting and getting to know each other better. When you grow old and you look back on your memories with your family, you will be full of pleasant memories and you will have no regrets.